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"CLEANING MOTHER'S HOUSE," by Michael John Neill
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It has been
nearly a year since fictional genealogist Barbara passed away. Her
daughter Charlene reflects upon that year in a letter to her friend Karen.
Charlene truly has been busy. Barbara is probably rolling over in
her grave. Whether you have a child like Charlene or not, have you
thought about what might happen to your genealogy collection upon your
demise?
Karen,
As usual, my cards are late. It has been a busy year.
We spent much of the year settling up Mother's estate. The house sold
well, but cleaning it took longer than we expected.
You are probably the only person who did not know
Mother was a genealogy buff. She told practically every human she
encountered. I'm convinced that genealogy "nut" was the most accurate
phrase. The stuff was all over the house. The inheritance would have been
enough to pay for my new Mercedes had she not insisted on spending money
on that blasted hobby. I don't know why she couldn't be more like Tom's
mother. Nadine spends her day doing needlepoint and watching reruns of 50s
television shows. Tom just does not realize how lucky he is, but men never
do. My mother had to run off to cemeteries and courthouses. She even went
to a conference in Davenport, Iowa, last year! Can you imagine? Davenport,
Iowa! After she got back, she was so excited about all that she had
learned and all the fun she had. She was planning on going to another one
in California this year. Well the grim reaper took care of that.
Because of my promotion to head of knick knack sales at
Garbageforless.com, I had not been home for several years. I was appalled
to learn that Mother had converted my old bedroom into her family history
"headquarters." My shelves of Teen Beat and other magazines documenting my
adolescence had been replaced with old family photographs, copies of old
documents, and something called family group sheets. She even got rid of
the pants I wore to my first junior high dance. I cried at the thought.
I could not bear to go in the room and be reminded that
my childhood had been stripped from me and replaced with an obsession with
the past. I told the children that if they would clean the room and
prepare the items for the garage (should I say "garbage"?) sale they could
have the proceeds. I learned what true entrepreneurs they are.
Kenny stripped Mother's hard drive in under ten
minutes. I kept hearing him say "GedCom is GedGone . . .GedCom is GedGone
. . ." I have no idea what it meant, but the computer fetched a good
price. Before he unplugged the computer, he erased all Mom's floppy disks
and downloaded public domain games. He sold these at a nominal price.
Susan took the old photographs to a flea market and was
able to sell many of them. Some special labels had to be taken off and we
had to take them out of protective envelopes. Mother had written the names
on the back of many of them. At least none of those pictures of depressing
old dead people had our last name written on them. I don't want to be
associated with such sour people.
Mother had some type of old plat book -- whatever that
is. Kenny tore out the pages individually and sold them separately on Ebay.
It was so clever. His dad said he got much more than if he had left the
book in one piece. Susan didn't tear the bibles apart though. I thought
that showed tremendously good sense. She's learning that not everything
can be marketed in the same way. The 1790 bible brought her a good penny,
but she couldn't get the one from 1900 to bring more than fifty cents. She
donated it to a local church, and here is where I am so proud of her. We
can write if off as a charitable deduction. Someone had written what they
had paid for the bible on the back cover. Susan converted that to 2001
dollars and will use that
for our tax deduction amount. I've already enrolled Susan in tax lawyer
summer camp this coming August.
There was some old large certificate of written on
heavy paper. The silly thing wasn't even in English, so why would Mother
keep it? Kenny used the other side to keep track of the things he had
sold. Waste not, want not. When we were finished we put the paper in the
recycling bin.
The kids put an old wedding dress from the 1870s in the
washer to get the stains out. It was terribly filthy. The worthless thing
didn't even survive the extra long cycle and the half-gallon of bleach.
It's doubtful we can even use it for cleaning rags. The dress was in some
kind of old trunk. I'm not certain what it was for, but it had a name
stenciled on the front in huge letters along with the name of a town.
Susan gave it a good coating of red paint and sold it as a toy box.
The filing cabinets were emptied of their contents, as
were the three shelves of binders. Kenny got the bright idea to shred the
paper and sell it in bags as New Year's confetti. The file folders were
too heavy to shred.
The baby did not react well to any of this. She cried
and fussed almost the entire time. Kenny thought she wanted tea, which
made no sense to me at all. As she cried, it sounded like she was saying
"family tee." She can't even talk yet and I think Kenny was hearing
things. The baby does look exactly like my mother though, it's the oddest
thing. The fussing didn't stop until she spit up an entire bottle of
strained prunes on my junior high jeans,which we did find in the basement.
They were ruined --- it was the one real loss. Now my past has really been
taken from me --- magazines and all.
Charlene |
